it is enough

it is a very difficult thing indeed

to know the fragility of a moment,

that in one you are so much a

person you would like to be, and

in another, skin tightening and

muscles clenched your body can

reject itself

.

and these moments overlap as

seismic waves felt by you alone,

.

it is an instant that it takes

for things to change

.

and it is difficult to know this

but we know it nonetheless

and I hope it is enough

it riles me up to hear how you

do not measure up, lips leaving traces

of self-proclaimed inadequacy in the pauses

between words of our late-night

conversations, staining the air where you

leave them, it makes me want to

reach inside of you to show you all of

what you are, the sprawling veins and

vast expanse of muscle and bone and

everything just right in place;

to scream out, my voice penetrating

the too-stillness of now-tainted air, to be the

only sound in the entirety of the world

in which we live, so each living being

can understand the depth of your

adequacy, as I do; to remove you

from your body so that maybe you can

see, just how beautiful a body you

belong to

Pillow talk

Sometimes I feel you are so

careful with your words, so

careful to use only those

that will convince me you

are someone I could like,

too careful with your words,

they shift and morph within

your lips and most are never

voiced, so careful to be

the person I’d like for you

to be, but maybe not the

person that you are

I hate feeling like I can’t have fun unless I’m intoxicated.  I hate that we use intoxication to legitimize our feelings, like when I told you I liked you but could say it “only because I’m drunk.”  I hate that we can’t say these things in the throes of sobriety.

Who was it that said “it’s not about who you are but what you like” on compatibility well I always subscribed to that particular brand of bullshit I mean yes common interests and whatever are important but this doesn’t change the fact that someone can love the Decemberists every bit as much as you do and still ignore you at parties three months after you’ve last spoken to them while someone can still be “getting into” Sufjan Stevens weeks after being introduced to him and treat you with respect and send you texts at four am that make you smile.

I am a big gay sap don’t look at me.

No matter how perfect someone’s beard and itunes library may be, if they are going to be a Total Jerk and ignore you for months they are Not Worth It.

This is an important lesson that I am still learning.

Oh okay this is nice okay yes good